Friday, December 28, 2007

Unity...and LOVE

To follow on from my previous post (about how churches of different denominations should work together), I was surprised to discover that nearly 2000 years ago the church in Corinth had a similar problem. Check out what Paul wrote to them in 1 Corinthians 1:10-12:

I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. My brothers, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, "I follow Paul"; another, "I follow Apollos"; another, "I follow Cephas"; still another, "I follow Christ."

I suppose you could say today that some follow Luther, others follow Calvin, others follow Wesley...etc. But I don't think that's the way it should be. There's a reason we're called Christians!

Well anyway, that's something for me (and you too, perhaps) to ponder on.

Changing the subject...I feel rather like life for me is a series of revelations (of varying significance). Like about six months ago I realised that leaps of faith are really, really worth it (I'll have to tell that story sometime I guess) and that I'm incredibly weak when I try to rely on myself -- but when I lean on God He makes me incredibly powerful. (I had to relearn that lesson a couple of times, but I think it's getting through to me now. :) ) My most recent "revelation" or life lesson is that God really loves me.

If you're a Christian and you know that I'm a Christian you're probably thinking, "Well, duh." And of course I already knew that God loves me. In my mind. But I guess I still felt like I had to be completely perfect, and that's a heavy weight to carry. I was getting stressed out over really tiny things in my effort to please God -- and basically going about it completely the wrong way. Not surprisingly, this lead to a somewhat severe case of discouragement. I was pretty miserable for a while, but on Boxing day I decided that filling my mind with escapist-fuel wasn't going to help anything and so went off by myself to wrestle this thing out. After a not-very-refreshing bout of tears, I started praying rather brokenly --

Oh man, I really am giving you my diary here.

Oh well, I guess I should finish the story. I started praying, but all I could say was "What am I supposed to do?" because I felt like I was falling far short of being a good Christian and everything. I was just saying this over and over, but then I felt as though I was given the answer: Nothing. You don't have to do anything.

Well, it's not like I heard an audible voice or anything, but I got the message clearly enough. And I was pretty amazed. I mean, here I was, beating myself up over stupid little things and trying to be Miss Perfect because I thought that's what I had to do, and here God's telling me, "Relax! I already love you!"

Yeah, I did know that, but I guess it never really got past my mind and to my heart, you know what I mean? Anyway, to make a long story short, I realised I had been acting like a legalistic idiot, trying to do everything on my own strength (told you I had to relearn that lesson a few times!) and that I was trying to be perfect for the wrong reason. It came clear to me that although, yes, I should try to live righteously, I should do it not out of obligation but out of love for God and a genuine desire to please Him. (Yeah, I hear you Christians saying "Yeah, duh" again, but remember that things aren't always so obvious when they're happening to you!) And I found that that's exactly what I wanted to do -- because (partly because He had revealed all this to me and had taken away the pressure I had been under, but mostly because He LOVED me -- *HAPPY FACE!!!!*) , I found I really loved God too.

So I'm really happy at the moment. (I know I won't stay on this high forever, but I really think that what I've learned is something that won't disappear even with the ups and downs of a teenager's emotional balance.) I'm really enjoying putting the command "whatever you do, do it to the glory of God" into practice, and I'm just loving God loving me (and I think He loves me loving Him too).

So I guess if I was to say anything to you lucky people who got to READ MY DIARY IN ALL IT'S EMOTIONAL DRAMA AND PAINFUL HONESTY, it would be this: God loves you. God loves you. God loves you. God loves you.

So love Him back!!


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